I Believed I was Crazy!

One morning, after the office holiday party, I woke up with a massive hangover next to my boyfriend who looked at me with complete disgust.  more>>

N/A Beer

I remember in early recovery....., Oh, by the way my name is Jeffery Dean Ruiz and I am A 44 year old dude with six years and some change not taking any mind altering substances. So any hoo, more>>

But I'm So Smart!

I was a person who looked like I had it together. I had a job, friends, even some money in the bank. I read the New York Times, payed attention to politics and could cook a pretty elegant dinner for friends in no time, and did so often. I had a secret though. more>>

First Sober Date

When I see the men and women in suits outside sucking down cigarettes, I say to myself, “I don’t think this is a restaurant”.  My date opens the door and a wave of heat and loud music bathe us in the smell of sweat and booze. more>>

I've Discoverd A Whole New Part of Me

Once I got into my thirties, I began to notice most of my peers didn't drink as much and as frequently as I did. The way I "controlled" my drinking was through binging. more>>

No More McDonald's

One Saturday night – after a wild Friday night that landed me sleeping in my car – I went to McDonald’s and bought a cheeseburger, French fries, and a diet Coke to feed my hangover. more>>

Two Weeks After My 19th Birthday

I was drinking hard, too much and straight out of the Royal Gate vodka bottle.  I knew something wasn't right, but I was in art school and it was acceptable to use drugs and alcohol to be creative. more>>

Dire Wolf Drinking

It’s always reminded me of the song “Dire Wolf” by the Grateful Dead.  The lyric is: When I awoke, the Dire Wolf, 600 pounds of sin,Was sitting at my window – all I said was, ‘Come on in’ more>>

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