I've Discovered A Whole New Part of Me (continued)
Once I got into my thirties, I began to notice most of my peers didn't drink as much and as frequently as I did. The way I "controlled" my drinking was through binging. I would not drink for a series of days knowing that saturday night I would allow myself no limits. On those nights, I would drink usually all night, throw up often times publicly and behave completely inappropriately (for example, hitting on my boss in front of my boyfriend). Even during this time, I thought I just needed to blow off steam. I am simply a fun person who likes to have a good time.
My therapist kept asking me about my drinking. It annoyed me so much. She suggested that I try to control my drinking. For the next six months, I lied every week about how much I drank. It wasn't until after my last bender that I realized-Shit I have a problem!
That was in June of 2003. I am slowly learning how to cope with life without drinking, which initially I thought would be a death sentence. But it has been completely the opposite. I have discovered a whole new part of me-a part that I am proud of. I have learned how to open up, be honest, and most importantly how to ask for help. I learned there are a whole bunch of folks out there who have similar experiences with drinking and they recover and grow. Oh my God, I am so happy to be on this path now.
Christine
34, Los Angeles